Saturday, August 16, 2008

Who Am I?

Please scroll down to end of my blog to mute my play list before listening. Thank you

UPC Conference Church 2006 De Bron, Who Am I - Casting Crowns/ Performed by the Oslo UPC Youth Group. They got in November a new concert at Oslo, Norway. Video's will be posted on Youtube.

For more inspirational entries, visit Amy Wyatt of Signs, Miracles and Wonders.

For many years I struggled with my identity. I had believed the lies that I was worthless, inadequate, hopeless, helpless.... I was on the performance track - if only I was..... I kept trying to achieve some kind of standards that the world and even the Christian world had placed on wives, mothers, etc. I tried to be everything to everyone. I kept "missing the mark"; I would sink deeper in depression and self loathing until one day I literally stopped in my tracks. Literally! I was driving home one day from work and I had to pull the car over to the side of the road - I had no idea what I was doing or where I was going! I started to cry out loud to God for Him to take my life. Not - here I am Lord take me - No, this was a cry to end my life! I couldn't keep the charades up any longer. Something had to give. The Lord didn't take me home that day, but He did hear my inner most longing and true heart cry - HELP ME LORD! I CAN'T DO THIS ANY MORE! I don't know how I got home, but when I did my husband took me to the mental hospital for help. They decided I was suicidal, they had me commit voluntarily. I was there for only a few hours when I ran to the nurses station and told them I wanted to leave. Since I went in voluntarily I was allowed to go home, even though they advised me not to leave. I had taken a three week leave from work, Jim had friends of ours with me at all times when he could be with me. The next day after I left the hospital, my husband took me to a Christian Counselor who with his wise guidance and God's strength I eventually found my worth - my identity in Christ. The counselor and I went through daily sessions for several weeks, then weekly, bi-monthly, and monthly for a year. We began with the Word of God and with the book study, The Search For Significance by Robert S. McGee. My life was changed forever. I had been a Christian since I was 12; a pastors wife and teacher, but for the first time I truly understood what God thought of me and how He saw me. For years I did not see God as a tender loving God. The only father figure I had was my own father who was physically, emotionally and verbally abusive. I feared God the same way. Now I saw God for Who He truly is! Not just my Savior, but also my tender loving Father! The chains of bondage were finally broken! I was truly free! I am a deeply loved and special daughter of the King of Kings and Lord of lords! At the tail end of my sessions with my counselor, He told me I should study to become a counselor myself because he said I truly had a grasp on things and felt that God was going to use me to help others. I prayed about it and for a few months even dismissed the thought. Then one day God revealed to me that the time was right, I enrolled, studied, received my BA in Biblical Counseling and have used this gift to help others break their chains that so heavily weigh them down.
Do I ever fall back in my old mind set? You bet! When I do pull out my Who I am in Christ that I have in my bible; I pray and cry out to God, "Lord, take my life!" But this time though it's a cry giving up letting God! Giving God control of my mind, thoughts, doubts and life. It's no longer a cry of desperation, but a cry of aspiration.
Here is a little reminder for you to print out and carry in your bible for days you may need a little reminder of who you are in Christ

I reject the lie that I am worthless, inadequate, hopeless, or helpless because…
Acts 17:28,29; Genesis 1:26
I am God's child, created in His image.
I believe
Ephesians 2:10
I am God's workmanship, created for good works.
I believe
Genesis 1:16
I am a God's steward, a manager of His creation.
I believe
Matthew 5:13
I am the salt of the earth.
I believe
Mathew 5:14
I am the light of the world
I believe
John 15:1,5
I am a branch, a channel of God's life.
I believe
I Corinthians 3:16
I am a temple of God.
I believe
2 Corinthians 5:17-21
I am God's ambassador, a minister of reconciliation.
I believe
2 Corinthians 6:1
I am God's co-worker
I believe
Philippians 3:20
I am a citizen of God's kingdom.
I believe

I reject the lie that I am rejected, unloved, or unwanted because…
1 John 4:8
I was created to be loved by God because He is love.
I believe
I Corinthians 12:27
I am a member of God's family, His body.
I believe
1 Corinthians 6:19,20
I belong to God.
I believe
John 15:15
I am God's friend.
I believe
Deuteronomy 32:10
I am the apple of God's eye
I believe
Colossians 1:14
I have been redeemed and forgiven of all my sins.
I believe
2 Corinthians 5:19
I have all my sins no longer counted against me.
I believe
Hosea 11:1-3,8
I am fully loved and care for by God even when I fall.
I believe
I Corinthians 6:19,20
I have been bought with a price.
I believe
Ephesians 1:1
I am a saint, a holy one by calling not by behavior.
I believe
1 Corinthians 3:1-16
I am a dwelling place of God's Spirit even when I fail.
I believe

I reject the lie that I am rejected unprotected, alone, or abandoned because…
Jeremiah 31:3; Malachi 3:6
I am loved with God's unfailing and unchanging love
I believe
Romans 8:35-39
I cannot be separated from the love of God.
I believe
Ephesians 1:3
I have been blessed with every spiritual blessing.
Psalm 23
I shall not want becausI believe
2 Peter 1:3
I have everything I need for life and godliness
I believe
God is my Shepherd.
I believe
Philippians 4:13
I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me
I believe
1 John 5:18
I am born of God and the evil one cannot touch me.
I believe
Ephesians 1:17-21
I have the immeasurable power of God at work in me.
I believe
Romans 8:28
I am assured that all things work together for good.
I believe
Philippians 1:6
I am assured God's work in me will be completed.
I believe CHRIST

Adapted from Neil Anderson, Ministering The Steps to Freedom In Christ, Reproducible edition.


Denise said...

This was so beautiful, and very inspiring. You are such a lovely example of God in action. I love you my friend.

Marsha said...

This is a terrific post.

I love you, lil sis! Thank you for using your gifts for Him. I'm just one of many who continues to be blessed by you.

agapesmansion said...

I absolutely love this song, thank you so much for sharing!

Mindy said...

What amazing and powerful testimony!

Addicted to Beadz said...

Love this song! Thanks for sharing your heart as well.

Have a great weekend!


Deborah said...

That's about the most amazing thing I've ever seen. Thank you for sharing.

luvmy4sons said...

I love those scriptures. I read Neil's book...but I need to get back to proclaiming those truths every day!