Wednesday, October 8, 2008
Argue or Not?
“Kind words are like honey – sweet to the soul and healthy for the body.” Proverbs 16:24
Years ago, when my daughter was a teenager, we would argue quite often about how she kept her bedroom – or should I say didn’t keep her room! I had well meaning relatives and friends who would give me advice on how I should make her clean her room. Nothing worked! It became a battle ground. Then one day while I was at work, I was listening to Family Life Radio, a well known Christian family Psychologist was answering questions from listeners. That hour I heard something that helped turn around my daughter’s and my relationship. A mother was sharing how she and her teenage daughter fight all the time regarding her messy room. The Psychologist said, “Is there a door to your daughter’s bedroom?” The mother said, “Yes,” The Psychologist replied, “Shut the door! There are better things for your daughter and you to discuss than to fight over her room.” Wow, those words hit me like a ton of bricks. It seemed that all my daughter and I did was fight over something. So that evening after work, my daughter and I had a little discussion. I told her I was no longer going to argue with her about her room as long as she kept her door closed and did her own laundry. From that day forward we did not argue about her room. Other things yes, after all she was a teenager. But her room was her space.
It’s a little funny, to this day she diligently cleans every room in her home, but her bedroom is usually the last room that gets clean. Now she has a teenage son whom I believe keeps his room neater than she did; with one exception – everything gets thrown into the closet or drawers! He seems to be a pack rat like his grandfather! Now that's a story for another time.
Did anyone else have problems with their teen keeping their room clean? How did you resolve the problem?