Friday, November 14, 2008

Friday Funnies




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"ESTROGEN ISSUES"
10 WAYS TO KNOW IF YOU HAVE "ESTROGEN ISSUES"



1. Everyone around you has an attitude problem.
2. You're adding chocolate chips to your cheese omelet.
3. The dryer has shrunk every last pair of your jeans.
4. Your husband is suddenly agreeing to everything you say.
5. You're using your cellular phone to dial up every bumper sticker that says: "How's my driving-call 1- 800-".
6. Everyone's head looks like an invitation to batting practice.
7. Every one seems to have just landed here from "outer space".
8. You can't believe they don't make a tampon bigger than Super Plus.
9.! You're sure that everyone is scheming to drive you crazy.
10. The ibuprofen bottle is empty and you bought it yesterday.

TOP TEN THINGS ONLY WOMEN UNDERSTAND

10. Cats' facial expressions.
9. The need for the same style of shoes in different colors.
8. Why bean sprouts aren't just weeds.
7. Fat clothes.
6 Taking a car trip without trying to beat your best time.
5. The difference between beige, ecru, cream, off-white! , and eggshell.
4. Cutting your hair to make it grow.
3. Eyelash curlers.
2. The inaccuracy of every bathroom scale ever made.

AND, the Number One Number One thing only women understand:

1. OTHER WOMEN

Pregnancy, Estrogen and Women Pregnancy Q & A & more



Q: Should I have a baby after 35?
A: No, 35 children is enough.
Q: I'm two months pregnant now. When will my baby move?
A: With any luck, right after he finishes college.
Q: What is the most reliable method to determine a baby's sex?
A: Childbirth.
Q: My wife is five months pregnant and so moody that sometimes she's borderline irrational.
A: So what's your question?
Q: My childbirth instructor says it's not pain I'll feel during labor, but pressure. Is she right?
A: Y es, in the same way that a tornado might be called an ai r current.
Q: When is the best time to get an epidural?
A: Right after you find out you're pregnant.
Q: Is ! there any reason I have to be in the delivery room while my wife is in labor?
A: Not unless the word "alimony" means anything to you.
Q: Is there anything I sho u ld avoid while recovering from childbirth?
A: Yes, pregnancy.
Q: Do I have to have a baby shower?
A: Not if you change the baby's diaper very quickly.
Q: Our baby was born last week. When will my wife begin to feel and act normal again?
A: When the kids are in college.

15 comments:

Cheryl said...

Michele,

Those are great. I'm having issues, it seems with some of these!


Thanks for sharing!

Cheryl

Denise said...

You always make me smile.

Amy said...

I literally LOL'd on some of these!

Happy Friday!

Homesteader in Training said...

I am so glad I can't relate to any of those. NOT! Too funny.
Hugs.
Kim

Speaking from the Heart said...

Chocolate chips on a cheese omlet sounds good to me.

He And Me + 3 said...

I'm so glad that I can laugh at myself...those were so funny. I can say "check" to way too many of those. Yikes for my man. LOL

Marsha said...

I have no issue with chocolate anything! Chocolate chip pancakes sounds really good this morning. And when I go to Subway today for lunch for one of those low cal subs, I think I'll add some chocolate chips for flavor and crunch!

Susan said...

Hey Michele,

Sad to say they ALL hit way too close to home for me.

Oh, the joys of being a woman huh??

Praying for the prayer request. I had a friend who lost part of her thumb with that virus, no fun.

Blessings~

Laurie Ann said...

These were hilarious! Loved them. I can so relate to about 80% of them, LOL.

Lady of Value said...

Yep, I can relate to a LOT of these as well!!

These are soo funny! Thanks Michele for posting these.

Have a great weekend!

MJ said...

Oh boy...can I identify! :)

BP said...

Thanks for the funny today! Hope you have a nice weekend.

LauraLee Shaw said...

Hittin' close to home now...oh boy! lol.

2nd Cup of Coffee said...

Oh the prayer request is kind of shocking. I don't know her, but I will pray. And thanks for leaving a comment at Internet Cafe today; I appreciate it.

Lisa @ Stop and Smell the Chocolates said...

I love this one! They're all good!