Friday, November 7, 2008

The Joys of Mid-Life

I've seen two shows lately that went on and on about how mid-life is a great time for women. Just last week Oprah had a whole show on how great menopause will be . . . Puhleeeeeeeze! I've had a few thoughts of my own and would like to share them with you. Whether you are pushing 40, 50, 60 (or maybe even just pushing your luck), you'll probably relate.

Mid-life is when the growth of hair on our legs slows down. This gives us plenty of time to care for our newly acquired mustache.

In mid-life women no longer have upper arms, we have wing spans. We are no longer women in sleeveless shirts, we are flying squirrels in drag.

Mid-life is when you can stand naked in front of a mirror and you can see your rear without turning around.

Mid-life is when you go for a mammogram and you realize that this is the only time someone will ask you to appear topless.

Mid-life is when you want to grab every firm young lovely in a tube top and scream, 'Listen honey , even the Roman empire fell and those will too.'

Mid-life brings wisdom to know that life throws us curves and we're sitting on our biggest ones.

Mid-life is when you look at your know-it-all, beeper-wearing teenager and think: 'For this I have stretch marks?'

In mid-life your memory starts to go. In fact the only thing we can retain is water.

Mid-life means that your Body By Jake now includes Legs By Rand McNally -- more red and blue lines than an accurately scaled map of Wisconsin .

Mid-life means that you become more reflective . You start pondering the 'big' questions. What is life? Why am I here? How much Healthy Choice ice cream can I eat before it's no longer a healthy choice?

But mid-life also brings with it an appreciation for what is important. We realize that breasts sag, hips expand and chins double, but our loved ones make the journey worthwhile. Would any of you trade the knowledge that you have now, for the body you had way back when? Maybe our bodies simply have to expand to hold all the wisdom and love we've acquired. That's my philosophy and I'm sticking to it!


Denise said...

Funny sweet friend.

Anonymous said...

Funny, Funny!

Kim @ Homesteader's Heart said...

I am all over that Healthy Choice Ice Cream one lol. That was great. Thanks for linking up today and joining in.

Debra Kaye said...


I loved it....and I can so relate!
on too many of them! haha

I hope you are feeling better...missed you!

Blessings to you & happy Friday!

He & Me + 3 said...

OH my...that is funny!

luvmy4sons said...

Funny and painfully true. I would never trade the place I am in now in my faith for a firm anything! LOL!

Laurie Ann said...

Ah - funny, but the truth rings through! I love it.

LauraLee Shaw said...

hehe! Too funny!!!

Blog is no more said...

Funny! I recieved that in an email the other day, it is funny and true.

Praying that you are feeling better soon.

Robin said...

Stopping by some of my followers today. Thanks and hope to see more of you!

LAURIE said...

Wow those were great and sadly some were true!!! thanks for the laugh today and hope you are feeling better. -Laurie

Renee said...

This really made me laugh today and I needed to not only laugh but put things into perspective.
Thanks! Hope you and your family are soon over the flu.
God bless

Melanie said...

LOL... love this list Michelle.

Praying you and your family continue to heal and soon feel much better.