Tuesday, November 18, 2008

I Don't Regret The Rain

“And I don’t regret the rain,
And the nights I felt the pain,
And the tears I had to cry some
of those times along the way.
Every road I had to take,
Every time my heart would break -
It was just something that I had to get through
To get me to you…”
As sung by Lila McCann,“To Get Me To You” [Hope Floats Soundtrack

Psalm 18:4-6, 16-19
“4 The ropes of death surrounded me; the floods of destruction swept over me. 5 The grave F18 wrapped its ropes around me; death itself stared me in the face. 6 But in my distress I cried out to the LORD; yes, I prayed to my God for help. He heard me from his sanctuary; my cry reached his ears.”
“16 He reached down from heaven and rescued me; he drew me out of deep waters. 17 He delivered me from my powerful enemies, from those who hated me and were too strong for me. 18 They attacked me at a moment when I was weakest, but the LORD upheld me. 19 He led me to a place of safety; he rescued me because he delights in me.”

There have been so many different roads through my life that have caused such great pain and sorrow. It’s so hard to pick just one. Each one has taught me a life lesson and has made me who I am today.

Growing up with an emotionally, physically, and verbally abusive father has made me more sensitive to the plight of children and other's emotional pain.

Having a miscarriage at age 23 and a hysterectomy before my 26th birthday has made me aware of the emotional and physical pain of women.

Going through the turmoil of a troubled teenage daughter taught me patience (too late I must admit), dependence upon God and prayer, and humility that even in so called best of Christian homes children can rebel; but later become blessed with the promise of God in Proverbs 22:6 – “Train up a child in the way he should go, And when he is old he will not depart from it.” Through this pain I am able to give hope to others to hold onto this promise because they will return once again to the Lord as my daughter has done. (NKJV)

Having to go through the loss of loved ones so near and dear to my heart- especially a parent and parent-in-law has helped me to minister to others as they go through similar pain as well.

But the pain I continue to go through regarding my health started 23 years ago. Seeing one’s body and mind deteriorate can be most painful and humbling. When one has a chronic illness you go through some mountains and valleys along life’s pathway. Sometimes you can be in the shadow of the valley of death for a long time. I have felt the pain of rejection and isolation from friends due to being homebound. I have felt the pain and loneliness of depression. I have felt the pain of humiliation due to having to give up pride so family can care for my most personal needs due to chronic illness. I have cried in my husband’s arms many times because I just wanted to give up and go home to be with the Lord because the pain of my illness was too great.

These afore mentioned trials are just some of the paths I have had to travel. Through each trial, temptation, sorrow and pain, God heard the prayers and rescued me from the pits of despair. The Christian life does not promise a life without pain or sorrow, but it does promise that there will always be Someone who will be with you through it all - Our precious Lord and Savior, “Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil; For You are with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.” Psalm 23:4 (NKJV)

Each road I have travelled I have left more of me behind and gained more of Christ! “For to me, to live is Christ, and to die is gain.” Phil. 1:21 (NKJV)


bp said...

Those lyrics are powerful. When I was reading them I immediately thought of my miscarriage. It was painful but I wouldn't change that because I know God used that time to teach me some things.

He & Me + 3 said...

Michele, Seriously, that was such a beautiful post, and though I haven't experienced as many painful times in my life as you have...I do see the divine hand of God on my life at all times and for that I am so thankful. YOu are such a blessing. Keep blogging because you encourage me.

luvmy4sons said...

God is amazing how He brings beauty for ashes, strength for fear, gladness for mourning, hope for despair...

Laurie Ann said...

Oh, Amen! Wonderful post, Michele! I love how you sing God's praises despite the trials you've been through and are going through.

Jamie {See Jamie blog} said...

Thank you for opening your heart and sharing with us. Beautiful post.

Denise said...

So beautiful my friend.

susansspace said...

Hi, Michele! Thanks for visiting my blog. Please come back anytime!
(I met your sister, Marsha, last year. We attend the same church).
It sounds like you are valiantly dealing with alot. This was a beautiful post.
May God bless you!

Betsy Markman said...

Bless you for this wonderful testimony of the goodness of God!

michelle said...

thank you for this post and for the example of how to be through the trials that come our way. I hope that when the really big trials come my way I will run into the arms of my Savior.

Unknown said...

I love the last part of the verse you included - He rescued me because He delights in me. What comfort! Our trials really do pale in comparison to the ways God uses them to bring us closer to Him and put us in the position to empathize and help others. Thanks for sharing your story.


Missy said...

I'm so sorry you have so many health problems, but I admire that you keep your focus on Christ and try to use your difficulties to minister to others.
Love ya!

Esthermay Bentley-Goossen said...

It is obviously God's Grace that guides you and your words reflect both a woman at peace with her situation and woman who understands God's Word on the subject of suffering.
I am so sorry that you suffer daily with physical affliction -- being human comes with way too much baggage sometimes. No? But being spirit-minded and Christ-centered makes the whole thing seem so temporary. You bless me with the courage you show -- as a fellow pastor's wife, I know this much: It can't be easy! :-) God Bless you and your family!
Kindest Thoughts,

Sharon Brumfield said...

Sounds like God has been doing some amazing things in your life. It is amazing what God can do when we turn our trials and temptations over to Him to use.
We have had a rough road the last few years too.....sometimes I have wondered if all the time I told God that I wanted to know Him more might have just led to some of this.
I do know that through these things my eyes have been opened to things that I don't think I would have gained so quickly otherwise. Just a thought.
Bottom line is that i am glad that He promises to complete the work He started in me.

Unknown said...

Our Lord's presence and attaining that truth that becoming Christ-like in our suffering draws us nearer to Him whether on this side of the veil of heaven or beyond. May God bless you richly with more mercy, more favor, more grace and more healing. Thank you for participating in IOW this week, and blessing us with your story. So many of us walk down roads of brokeness, but to live without regret to say it is all worth it for the God I know is to truly be blessed. You have blessed many. I'm praying for your friend.


MJ said...

Beautiful post ~ God is truly amazing!