The very helpful post below is from Nancy Guthrie, from her blog Desiring God. I encourage you to read the post fully. I found it most helpful and I am sure you will too.
"People ask me all the time what to say and what to do for people who are grieving the death of someone they love. And I’m glad they ask. I’m glad they want to know what is really helpful and meaningful, and what is completely unhelpful and actually hurtful. And I wish I could tell you that I always know myself what to say. But sometimes words fail me. And I wish I could tell you that I never say the wrong thing. But I do. In fact, a few days ago, I made the mistake I often tell other people not to make.
The minute I said it I wished I hadn’t. I should know better. But it’s just what came out. Maybe it’s what comes out when you talk to grieving people too. Here’s what I said. Or more accurately, what I asked:"
To continue with this post please click the following link. http://www.desiringgod.org/articles/what-not-to-ask-someone-suffering