Be A Comforter

"Precious in the sight of the LORD is the death of his faithful servants".  Psalm 116:15 (NIV)

Recently we received word that three dear friends whom we have had the privilege to serve the Lord with have gone home with our Lord and Savior.   

When a loved one passes away who knows the Lord as their Savior we go through mixed emotions.  First, of shock, then sadness, then a form of rejoicing knowing and believing that absent from the body – present with the Lord.   “We are confident, I say, and would prefer to be away from the body and at home with the Lord.” 2 Corinthians 5:8 (NIV).  

Many people find it most difficult to know what to say and what not to say to someone who is grieving. We mean well, but sometimes we open mouth and insert foot.  I thought I would share some of the best things to say as well as some of the worst things we can say to someone who is grieving.  

The Best Things to Say to Someone in Grief

1. I am so sorry for your loss.
2. I wish I had the right words, just know I care.
3. I don’t know how you feel, but I am here to help in any way I can.
4. You and your loved ones will be in my thoughts and prayers.
5. My favorite memory of your loved one is…
6. I am always just a phone call away
7. Give a hug instead of saying something
8. We all need help at times like this; I am here for you
9. I am usually up early or late, if you need anything
10. Saying nothing, just be with the person

The Worst Things to Say to Someone in Grief

1. At least she lived a long life, many people die young
2. He is in a better place
3. She brought this on herself
4. There is a reason for everything
5. Aren’t you over him yet, he has been dead for a while now
6. You can have another child still
7. She was such a good person God wanted her to be with him
8. I know how you feel
9. She did what she came here to do and it was her time to go
10. Be strong 

Below is another helpful and worth the read article that may be of some help when someone is suffering through grief.  http://www.desiringgod.org/articles/what-not-to-ask-someone-suffering

These three men who have passed away were in three different church ministries that Jim and I served.  Each man was unique in their own way – yet some traits they shared were their love for their family, friends and most of all their Lord.  Our hearts and prayers go out to their beloved family.  Jim’s and my life have been blessed by knowing and serving with each of these men.  So thankful that one day we will see them again – until then we have cherished memories